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Crochetin’ my cares away

29 Nov

I was able to find some beauty and actually be thankful today in the midst of my chaos. I had no choice but to slow down. I can’t “take care” of my parents at the hospital (as if they need my care and didn’t raise up my own butt from birth). I can’t go consult my hospital because I’ve got a six year old puker on my hands. I hate tv these days. Honestly, I NEEDED something to DO with all this energy that wants to help, work, fix. Soooooooooo, my bestest bestest number one bestie facetimed me back through our crochet lesson. She has a better handle on life and has made several scarfs since our lesson as opposed to me and my one worm sleeping bag. So I sat. And I chained. And I counted. And I did the double crochet. I made a section. It had an ass. I took it out. I started over pre-ass. The ass went away. Then I went to thinking about how I was at home caring for my sick son and how he’ll remember someday that Mommy took care of him. How I rubbed his back “on top of his shirt” not beneath because his skin felt too sensitive. How I let him germ up my iPad and then lysoled it. How I said that big daddy could bring him pizza for lunch because that’s what he wanted. Little things. But things that are so dear. And then I thought about life being like that crazy scarf. How you’re crocheting along and all of the sudden an ass forms. So you back-track. Sit and figure out where it all went wrong. Take it out. Start over where the ass formed. Next thing you know, the scarf is back to looking right as rain. You can still tell where the ass was but no one else can. Except maybe Jesus. And he helped you fix the ass anyway, so he ought to know. So that’s it. Crochet. Thankful. Beauty from ashes. And asses.

Love,
Luli

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Back on the soap box.

16 Aug

This subject has popped up several times recently (not in my life, stop being nosy) so I’m gonna vent about it.  I have no studies, no smart people to quote, not even any bible verses to throw out.  I’m just gonna shout out my opinion and we’ll all move on.

Okay.  Here it comes.  Life, folks, is not a freaking bowl of cherries.  The skies are not all sunny.  You don’t always love your job and your marriage is not always perfect.  Sometimes your spouse (me, not Casey, of course) gets annoying, depressed, overweight, stinky, dumb and weird.  Sometimes your kids dip their fingers into the ice water at the server’s station at Ted’s.  Sometimes you make bad choices and it screws everything up and you don’t know how you got to that point in the first place. 

BUT GUESS THE HECK WHAT?!?!  That’s freaking life.  It is what it freaking is.  Grow some balls.  Man up.  You are an adult. 

I’m annoyed with folks giving up when things get hard.  NO.  Where’s the freaking commitment?  Life, marriage, parenthood is NOT easy.  Waaaah, waaaaah.  Quit your crying, sweet cheeks.  Deal with it.  Move on.  Stop annoying me.   I mean it.

If you need help, then freaking seek it out.  Buy a book from a knowledgable, trusted source and READ it.  Hey, here’s a thought – go to counseling.  Stop your whining and bellyaching.  No one likes a tit.  Make the choice to change what’s not working and then DO IT.  For real.  Dad gum.

I’m done.

“Dude, there’s something in your tooth and your arm looks pretty fat in this picture.”  You’re right.  I accept it.  I shall pick my tooth and lift some weights and move on.  Thank you, dude.

Love, Luli

And the shout out of the day goes to. . .

31 Jul

. . . Jen Hatmaker.  I heard her speak at a Women’s Retreat at Falls Creek in April of 2010.  Her words that weekend gave me confidence to say out loud what I’d been feeling in my heart for a long time.  Very refreshing.  Very healing.  Very inspiring.  She has an awesome blog where she talks about Jesus, Ethiopia, adoption, Texas football (ugh, I know, overlook it) and the church that she and her hubs started with some friends because they were tired of serving the saved and ignoring everyone else. Austin New Church has a mantra “Love Your Neighbor, Serve Your City.”  She documents their adventures as they serve the communties in Austin.  So Rad.  SO Rad.  You gotta see how these cats are changing their city.  Love.

Mmmmmkay, if you want to know anything else about Jen and the Hatmaker Seven just giddyup on over to her blog at http://jenhatmaker.com. You will love her. She’s the heezie, my neezies. Fo shizzle, my nizzles.

Thanks, Jen, for doing what you do.  You are making a difference, sister.  Rock on! 

Go check out her blog, homies.  I like her.  The end.

Oh yeah, she writes books too.  They’re good.  Buy ’em.  You’ll like ’em.  I’d start with Interrupted if I were you.  It’ll jack your shiz right up.  Woot!

Love, Luli

Really, what’s your point? I mean, for real.

29 Jul

Warning:  Tonight’s blog post is not that funny.  If you are looking to read a story about my poop or me chatting up my neighbor in my panties, you should wait to read until tomorrow.  I’m sure I’ll be right back on track by then.  I just got a little bit of the Spirit in me tonight as I sat down to blog.  Take it or leave it.  What-ev.

I love Jesus.  He’s in my heart.  I want to live my life in a way that points others to Him.  That’s all I know right now.  Some people might think I’m “backsliding” or “becoming hard hearted towards Christ” because my church attendance has dwindled, but I can assure you that’s not the case.  I’m following a path and I’m figuring it out as I go and I’m not listening to anyone but Jesus.  Period. 

I loved, loved, loved my upbringing in the Baptist church.  I still love what it means to me.  I wouldn’t change it.  BUT somewhere along the way something changed.  Maybe it was me.  I’m not sure.  I just know that one day I woke up and felt tired of hearing so many Christian leaders tell me how to live for Jesus one minute and then watching them turn around and treat folks like pieces of hot, fresh steaming dog crap the next minute.  It took me awhile – like 31 years – but I finally figured out that it just wasn’t adding up.  I was raised as a pastor’s kid and trust me, folks, I’ve seen some straight up hell from behind the scenes.  Really.  Straight up.  Not once, not twice, but many, many times.  Same song, different verse.  And, quite frankly, I’m over it.  And guess what?  I’m an adult and I get to make my own decisions.  And I decided I’m done.

Honestly, at first, I felt SO guilty about it.  I mean, that’s how you’re supposed to feel as a Christian, right?  Guilty all the time. . . No.  You’re not.  Guess what, homies, nothing YOU do or don’t do will get you to heaven so you can just stop getting ulcers over that one.  God sent His only son, Jesus, to die on the cross, to shed His own blood to cover our sins.  He paid the price for us and nothing we do or don’t do will change that.  It’s our choice to accept Him or not.  Soooooooo, what now?  All I know is this:  Once we accept Him, we have to live our lives in a way that leads everyone we come in contact with to Him.  Wherever we live, whatever we do.  And we have to give.  And help those in need.  And be kind.  And have a tender heart.  That’s as far as I’ve gotten.  But I’m on the path.  I’ll let you know if I ever figure it out.

And don’t go writing crazy crap in my comment section.  It’s ok if you don’t agree with me.  It’s so fine.  You stay on your path and I’ll stay on mine.  I just know that my eye is on the prize and that’s what I’m heading towards and I’m bringing my sweet babies and my gorgeous doll baby husband with me.  Onward Christian Soldier.

37 Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.”  38 This is the most important, the first on any list.  39 But there is a second to set alongside it: “Love others as well as you love yourself.”  40 These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.  Matthew 22:37-40

Love, Luli