22 Oct

I’m reading a book.  One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are.  I just started it and already I’m getting this:

“The act of sacrificing thank offerings to God – even for the bread and cup of cost, for cancer, and crucifixion – this prepares the way for God to show us His fullest salvation from bitter, angry, resentful lives and from all sin that estranges us from Him.”

Sacrificing “thank offerings” to God.  Thanking God for ALL things.  Shoot.  That’s a hard one.  Really.  Thank you, God, for my lupus.  It sounds dumb and, initially, makes me feel kinda pissed.  I’m sorry.  It does.  The thing is, though, I don’t know what’s best for me.  

“There’s a reason I’m not writing the story and God is.  He knows how it all works out, where it all leads, and what it all means.  I don’t.” 

So, the best I can do – even when it’s crappy, not fair, awful, sad – is to say, “Ummmm, ok then, God, this feels like crap and I don’t understand it BUT I know that You are love and that you are in my corner, SO thanks.  Thanks for this lupus.  For whatever reason, it will bring me closer to You and show me Your fullest salvation.  Thank you.” 

And then, I guess, you try to move on.  You try to use it.  Work with it.  Maybe it’s something that will lead you to your “true calling.”  Oh, come on.  I know I’m not the only one that watches Oprah’s Life Class on the OWN network.   Don’t go getting all crazy about it.  I know she’s not a prophet.  She’s very wise, though, and she lives her life always trying to give back.  I have no idea whether she’s truly a Christian or not but I like what she has to say.  Honestly, she seems to live her life in a more Christ-like way than most Christians I know.  And I know a bunch of ’em.

Step away from the Oprah topic.  Ok. 

Sooooooo, anyway.  My thought for the evening is this:  it seems like a waste of time carrying around thoughts of “why me? why this? why now?”.  Here’s the deal, Jack.  You’re not going to come up with a plausible answer.  The answer is in a language higher than your comprehension.  You are wasting valuable time and missing blessings.  You’re just gonna have to wait until heaven.  I’m sorry.  It is what it is. 

And that’s pretty much all I have to say about that.

Love, Luli


8 Responses to “Thanks.”

  1. Lyneeta October 22, 2011 at 10:26 pm #

    Amen! Sounds like a good book!

  2. Jantie October 22, 2011 at 10:58 pm #

    Welp, it’s pretty hard to argue with that. Doesn’t mean I like it much, but….

    You are a good, strong woman, Luli Gerber. Good and strong and kind and beautiful.

    Love ya.

  3. Sabin October 23, 2011 at 7:45 am #

    Ok that just punched me in my face. It is so hard to say thanks for things like that. Way to go christa and thanks for posting. Let me see what I need to be thanking God for.

  4. Seasie October 23, 2011 at 10:24 am #

    I love you. LOVE. Do you understand me? You are an inspiration. Love. Thank you.

  5. Midge October 23, 2011 at 3:55 pm #

    It’s much better (and less stressful) to be grateful for what you have (lupus, Parkinson’s, whatever) than to be angry about what you don’t have. Love you.

  6. Julie October 23, 2011 at 7:56 pm #

    I love ya. “Thank you God for all the hard crappy stuff..”. I mean… really… in all our ugly human-ness how can we even say those words?.. WE CAN’T. Its impossible. Not even comprehendable this side of heaven… Not even 1/2 a brain cell can grasp it. So how frustrating is this? VERY. me and God are gonna have a big long chat when I get there cause I have a LONG LONG list of questions.
    Until then.. I’m grateful. We are thankful. Blessed.
    You are my bestie, beautiful, strong friend. Keep on ruggin, I mean, truckin.

  7. loveluli October 23, 2011 at 8:05 pm #

    . . . because the Word has nail-scarred hands that cup our face close, wipe away the tears running down, has eyes to look deep into our brimming ache, and whisper, “I know. I know.”

  8. Sarah November 1, 2011 at 9:04 pm #

    I think I really need to hear this right now. How do you always know?! 😉

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