Antique Pharm

9 Aug

We’ve already established that I’m a nerd so we can avoid the preliminary apologies for my nerdiness and dive right in to the meat of the blog post.  I like antique pharmacy stuff.  So what?  It’s cool to me.  AND my in-laws just painted an old hutch of Granny and PaPa Gerber’s for me to “showcase” my rad stuff in.  Ummm, it has a built in light.  FOR REAL.  It’s beast (as Kaleb Gorman would say).  I shall begin by showing you a picture of the lighted hutch in action.

Radical.  Kinda museum/weird old woman-ish but I LIKE it.  Now let’s look at some specific items.

For the relief of functional constipation.  Functional.  That’s all I have to say about that.

Ezy-Akt-Ors.  First of all, the name is ridic.  It’s like an annoying license plate that you can’t stop whispering under your breath until you figure out what it says.  Gr8.  Ugh.  Second of all, below the drug name it says “The laxative tonic, incomparable.”  Incomparable.  It is so bomb-tastic at making you poop that it’s laxative powers are incomparable.  Wow.  Awesome.

Cheracol with codeine (cough syrup).  Folks, it has chloroform in it.  For real.  AND it has a dose for infants.  A ONE MONTH OLD INFANT CAN HAVE 2 0R 3 DROPS.  LOL!!!!!  Can you imagine?  Here you go little tiny infant baby.  Swallow down this chloroform and go nighty-night so mommy can rest.  I’m sure this won’t contribute to the rate of SIDs.  Hush now.  Sleepy time.  In.Sane.

And for the grand finale, Tonicine: female.  Contains purified extract from 5 grains fresh Ovary (ewwww – whose fresh ovary is it?) and alcohol 18% by volume.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  18%, folks.  Now you KNOW all of our grandmommies were taking their two teaspoonsful of Tonicine by mouth every six hours as needed for premenstrual symptoms.  LOL!!!  “Otis, stop by the Humpty-Dumpty and buy me some of that Tonicine on your way home from the factory.  Don’t give me any lip!  Just do it, for Pete’s sake!  Men!  Kids, you shut your mouth right now before I slap your face!   I mean it!  Crap, give me some of that cheracol to tide me over until your pappy gets home.”  Oh man, those were the good old days.

Two more thoughts for the day:

1.  A lady called the pharm today to make sure that the “hot pharmacist” was working because her boyfriend was coming to pick up her Xanax and he likes it when the hot pharmacist is working.  This is the life I lead, folks.  This is the extent of the compliments I receive.  What do you say when someone says that to you?  “Um, yes, I’m working???????”  WHO calls the pharm for their BOYFRIEND to make sure that the pharmacist that he finds attractive is working?  It’s creepy.  That’s what it is.  I’ve been stressed about it all day.  Ewwwww.  “Hay, Baby!  Call the pharmacy and make sure that perty girl that wears that white coat thang is workin’.  And brang me another Coors.”  Ignorant.

2.  Shout out to Granny Choat!!!!!  She had a little hiccup with her heart but she’s checked in at the heart hospital and doing just fine.  We love you, Granny!  We’re praying that your doctors get you all fixed up and that you’re back in your comfy cozy home super soon!! 

That’s all, folks!

Love, Luli

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9 Responses to “Antique Pharm”

  1. Meems August 9, 2011 at 7:36 pm #

    Yay for the inlaws and your new “lighted” hutch!! Glad Granny is OK!

  2. julie August 9, 2011 at 9:09 pm #

    1. You are the hottie pharm!! yipppeeeeee! hey, consider yourself lucky to be thought of as a hottie still….i think??
    2. I need some Tonicine- female. Can you score me some?? lol!!
    3. Hope that little granny gets better SOON!

    • loveluli August 9, 2011 at 9:20 pm #

      I could compound some!!!!! Loveluli – female. Heck yes!

  3. Rona August 9, 2011 at 10:12 pm #

    First off, I love antique pharmacy as you well know. I think of you and our crazy pharmacy times when I see the collection u gave me! What funny precious times! “hello, my name is Dr. Zorger, I will be your pharmacist today” lol LOVE the hutch and the light!;)

    Second, you are HOTT!! You still got it sister!!

    Third, I hope Granny gets better soon!

    • loveluli August 10, 2011 at 6:21 pm #

      Roni, I’ve been thinking about you SO much recently!! Miss you, girl. i was thinking about how co-dependent we were on eachother for four years. Seriously, co-dependent. And I could never have done it without you! LOVE you!!!!!!

  4. corrie August 9, 2011 at 11:10 pm #

    OMG. Laughed and laughed and read some aloud to my husband.

    • loveluli August 10, 2011 at 6:23 pm #

      Corrie, if I hadn’t moved we would have totally been BFF!!! I feel that you “get” my humor!!! That may be bad for you but it makes me happy!!

  5. Jantie August 10, 2011 at 6:18 pm #

    BEAST! Loveluli is a hottie.

  6. Suzy August 11, 2011 at 8:22 pm #

    Oh my gosh!!! You are hilarious!! I can’t remember when I’ve laughed so hard.

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