Really, what’s your point? I mean, for real.

29 Jul

Warning:  Tonight’s blog post is not that funny.  If you are looking to read a story about my poop or me chatting up my neighbor in my panties, you should wait to read until tomorrow.  I’m sure I’ll be right back on track by then.  I just got a little bit of the Spirit in me tonight as I sat down to blog.  Take it or leave it.  What-ev.

I love Jesus.  He’s in my heart.  I want to live my life in a way that points others to Him.  That’s all I know right now.  Some people might think I’m “backsliding” or “becoming hard hearted towards Christ” because my church attendance has dwindled, but I can assure you that’s not the case.  I’m following a path and I’m figuring it out as I go and I’m not listening to anyone but Jesus.  Period. 

I loved, loved, loved my upbringing in the Baptist church.  I still love what it means to me.  I wouldn’t change it.  BUT somewhere along the way something changed.  Maybe it was me.  I’m not sure.  I just know that one day I woke up and felt tired of hearing so many Christian leaders tell me how to live for Jesus one minute and then watching them turn around and treat folks like pieces of hot, fresh steaming dog crap the next minute.  It took me awhile – like 31 years – but I finally figured out that it just wasn’t adding up.  I was raised as a pastor’s kid and trust me, folks, I’ve seen some straight up hell from behind the scenes.  Really.  Straight up.  Not once, not twice, but many, many times.  Same song, different verse.  And, quite frankly, I’m over it.  And guess what?  I’m an adult and I get to make my own decisions.  And I decided I’m done.

Honestly, at first, I felt SO guilty about it.  I mean, that’s how you’re supposed to feel as a Christian, right?  Guilty all the time. . . No.  You’re not.  Guess what, homies, nothing YOU do or don’t do will get you to heaven so you can just stop getting ulcers over that one.  God sent His only son, Jesus, to die on the cross, to shed His own blood to cover our sins.  He paid the price for us and nothing we do or don’t do will change that.  It’s our choice to accept Him or not.  Soooooooo, what now?  All I know is this:  Once we accept Him, we have to live our lives in a way that leads everyone we come in contact with to Him.  Wherever we live, whatever we do.  And we have to give.  And help those in need.  And be kind.  And have a tender heart.  That’s as far as I’ve gotten.  But I’m on the path.  I’ll let you know if I ever figure it out.

And don’t go writing crazy crap in my comment section.  It’s ok if you don’t agree with me.  It’s so fine.  You stay on your path and I’ll stay on mine.  I just know that my eye is on the prize and that’s what I’m heading towards and I’m bringing my sweet babies and my gorgeous doll baby husband with me.  Onward Christian Soldier.

37 Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.”  38 This is the most important, the first on any list.  39 But there is a second to set alongside it: “Love others as well as you love yourself.”  40 These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.  Matthew 22:37-40

Love, Luli

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19 Responses to “Really, what’s your point? I mean, for real.”

  1. Linnea July 29, 2011 at 10:03 pm #

    Christa…I love your heart, and I love your honesty even more. All I can say, as you already know, my life is so much better having God in my life, on my mind, and in my heart. I used to worry about what people thought of me at church and I feared singing. That didn’t last long, and I don’t care about the ears I hurt around me. That is a big part of my worship…listening to and singing. I go for me…and not the other booties sitting around me. Keep us posted on this part of your path!

  2. Allison O. July 29, 2011 at 10:50 pm #

    Onward Christian Soldier. I love it. ALL.

  3. jennifer white July 29, 2011 at 11:06 pm #

    Christ said, “follow me.” That’s what you are doing my friend. Good for you.

  4. Shouna Loyall Brown July 29, 2011 at 11:50 pm #

    It is so refreshing to have someone who has said exactly how I feel. Thank you again for this blog! I love it and you have a beautiful gift of writing and I feel blessed that you have decided to let us be a part of your life! Onward christian soldier!

  5. Seasie July 30, 2011 at 7:35 am #

    Clap…..clap….clap..clap..clap, clap, clap, STANDING OVATION!!!!! You KNOW I love this! The best thing I’ve read on Christian living in a long, long time. Onward and upward!!!! 🙂

  6. Shirl July 30, 2011 at 7:57 am #

    A little over 4 years ago a group of Baptist put former in front of Baptist and started out on the most freeing journey of our lives. We were burned out, wounded, and fed up with performing for others. Eight people started meeting together in a borrowed facility with volunteer staff with the goal of giving all our donations away and being broke at the end of the year.

    Every August we don’t have church and every September we come back together if we haven’t found something better. We meet together to get filled up, not get the life sucked out of us! Our volunteer pastor, Doug, tells us we don’t go to the gas station to fill up and then drive around the gas station until we are empty again. We fill up to go out and minister looking for ways to give out cold cups of water.

    Prepare your sermon, girl, because we would love to have you come preach it at our church. Oh, yes, we are great with women preachers!

    • loveluli July 31, 2011 at 7:00 am #

      Haha! Luli at the pulpit. If only Brother John could see me now. . . that’s the LAW.

  7. corrie July 30, 2011 at 8:07 am #

    Really, really enjoying your blog. I don’t even check in to PW as often as I check in here.

    • loveluli July 31, 2011 at 6:58 am #

      Yay, Corrie! Thanks! Watch out PW. I’m after you, girl (in a very friendly way because I truly love you).

  8. Julie July 30, 2011 at 9:51 am #

    Onward. Christian. Soldiers. I’m talking bout trucking on in the midst of hell and craziness. In the middle of your world dropping out from beneath you… Who is always there??? My man Jesus… He never guilts he never gives up he never leaves us. We wake up and make a daily choice to choose Him. A daily choice to give of ourselves to others and try to be even 1/4 of what He is for us. Everyday. Without fail. we ARE the church.
    Girl you know w the organized church I’ve seen it all.. The good and the awful. Here’s what I know…when you have sinful people leading sinners it’s bound to get messy at times. We all have sin. We are all one step away from stupid.
    I have made a choice to look at the church that way.
    I love you my sister. You keep on walking your journey. I’m so proud of you.

  9. Shirl July 30, 2011 at 12:59 pm #

    I have a good friend who reminds me sheep stink. 😉

  10. Jantie July 30, 2011 at 1:01 pm #

    You have spoken my heart…verbatim. I LOVE this. You have said it so perfectly I want to yell out a hallelujah. And clap and cry. Don’t jodge. Eat fodge. That one is for my main man Casey Wasers. It’s LOVE so amazing….

  11. Amanda July 30, 2011 at 2:24 pm #

    WORD.

  12. April Smiley Ferguson July 30, 2011 at 9:25 pm #

    Love love LOVE your blog! My words, your mouth, your blog! You.Go.Girl!!!

  13. artisantheory July 31, 2011 at 12:10 am #

    Awesome. Every word.

  14. Janna August 2, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

    Done too. I sooooo hear you, and wanna hear some more. Rock on, Sista Christa.

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